The Great Outdoors

My husband Craig and I celebrate 10 years of marriage this June 11th; it’s been the greatest decade of my life. We’ve dreamed together, saved together, worked together, played together, renovated together, had babies together, watched all the Marvel movies in chronological order together (which I 10/10 recommend). In fact, there hasn’t been much we haven’t done together. Marriage doesn’t have to be an “everything you can do, I can do with you” kind of thing; it’s just one of those things that’s unique in our marriage. For the most part, we usually find ourselves on the same page. We share the same faith, the same goals, the same work ethic, the same style, the same punch lines, we even wear the same size sweatpants (which is great news for me and super annoying for Craig), and we both share the same desire to do everything we can to help the other get everything they can out of the time they’ve got - which makes this a pretty beautiful partnership.

When you sit here and read these Rev letters from me to you every month, I think it’s only fair to let you know that it’s not just me who has oriented my life around simple celebration. This is a team effort. Without Craig, there would be a significant blank missing. So, this month, I wanted to pull back the curtain a bit more and let you in on a day in the life of our home and family- a little snippet of a conversation between two ordinary people, with ordinary means, who want to enjoy life with the people they love and not be stressed out about it. 

Recently, we’ve been in full Summer prep mode over here at the Paulsens. As Oregonians, we have been cooped up indoors for the last several months. So when that big, bright, beautiful, orange globe in the sky starts shining more consistently - to us, it feels like we just discovered we had a second heart we never knew existed. All it wants to do is find a beam of light and sit in it. Over the years, we’ve made an effort to turn our outdoor spaces into cozy retreats that become our living room from June - September and since I have full access to my Outdoor Living and Entertainment guru - I batted my eyelashes and smiled real pretty-like and convinced Craig to be the one in the spotlight this month. 

So, hi! Welcome to our home. Imagine sitting with us out on the deck with an iced cup of sun tea and a pile of chips and guac. Let’s chat about the great outdoors while the birds pick all the sunflower seeds out of our copper feeder, and the ornamental grass sways in the wind, and I give Craig Paulsen all the heart eyes as he shares his secrets for making a pile of dirt a prime spot of real estate. 

Enjoy our conversation below!

I often get the credit for being hospitable, but you are equally gifted in this area. Where did your love for loving people come from?

Immediately, two amazing ladies come to mind: my mom Jane and my grandma Marilyn. I can remember so clearly the two of them always being the most hospitable people around. Anytime there was a party or a family get-together, you best bet that these two ladies knew how to be hospitable. There were always appetizers on the table, drinks in people's hands, and laughter coming from the room that they were in. 

Now I confess that this might not be an actual memory, rather one recalled by home video on VHS. Still, I have watched these home videos enough to know that the gift of hospitality runs strong on my mom's side. It had to have been 1986, I was about 2 years old at the time, and we were at my grandparent's old house. It was a hot Summer day, and the adults were lounging around on the deck, caught up in five different conversations at once while the kids were splashing a bit too loudly in the pool. The main thing I remember from this video was the constant hum of an ice cream maker in the background. (I actually think my great-grandma semi-scolded me because I was trying to stick my finger in the machine). But that scene has always stuck with me- family and friends of all ages hanging out together on a hot Summer day enjoying each other and not doing a whole lot other than that. 

How does that happen? What I learned from watching my mom and grandma all those years ago was that they set the stage beforehand- food was prepared, drinks were made, ice cream was churning, the pool was warm- all that was missing was people. When the people did show up, the hospitality initially in the spotlight seemingly disappeared as everyone settled in and started enjoying each other. That is a true gift, so thanks, mom and grandma!

Well said. Some of my favorite memories with your family include watching those two laugh their way through a checklist, preparing the patio for memories to be made. We've had so much fun in your mom's and dad’s backyard. And you've brought that feeling home to our house now too. What's so special about being outside to you?

There is just something magical about hanging outside with your family and friends on a warm Summer night under the lights. The fresh air, the Summer breeze, the stars on a clear night. Something inside us all can enjoy a little bit of that. When you are outside, you have fewer distractions, fewer screens, fewer walls, less laundry staring you in the face telling you that you'll never be caught up. Just kidding about the laundry, wait, no, I'm not. It's a real issue.

Let's just pretend the laundry doesn't exist for the remainder of this interview. (Cue the dryer buzzer.) Can you think of a few easy ways you have created a beautiful space for people to hang out?

Creating a hospitable environment outdoors doesn't need much. Just a little forethought and little prep work will go a long way. I think landscaping makes the environment feel comfortable - and honestly, I have no idea what I am doing when it comes to landscaping, but every Spring, I go down to a nursery and find some plants that add a little color and texture to my back yard. I usually buy perennials, so they come back every year, which might be the lazy man's way to do it. Still, after buying perennials for a few years, our backyard landscaping fills out nicely every Spring. Plants usually make people feel welcome and comfortable. So I always recommend you put a little priority into that area of your backyard (or front yard) entertaining space. 

I'd also make sure your space is clean. We built a pretty large composite (not wood) deck on the back of our house when we first bought it about 6 years ago. Every Spring, it needs pressure washed, and every Spring, I really don't want to do it. But the three to four hours it takes to get that space cleaned and prepped for the Summer pays dividends every night we are out there with family and friends. 

And finally, lights! Outdoor lights are super cheap now. They come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, and even colors (although we prefer the old-school glow of an incandescent bulb). Find a place where you can string them from your house to a tree in your yard. Don't have a tree? We didn't either, so I made a pole to string them from on the corner of our deck. It adds such a warm feel at nighttime. I can't tell you the number of amazing conversations I've had with Hilary and many other people on the deck under the lights on a summer night.

Ah yes, like the "do you think we should try to have a third baby" conversation. Those warm, glowing lights really helped us be brave. :) Our deck really becomes an extra living room in the Summer. We barely spend time inside. What are the essentials you'd recommend for someone who wants to have an outdoor entertaining space?

Like I said before, our deck was a priority for us. In fact, it was one of the first significant investments we made in our house after we moved in. We just wanted to make sure that we had a space to throw a spontaneous BBQ with friends, host baby showers, a place to put the kiddie pool on hot summer days - the list goes on and on. If you don't have a deck or a patio to entertain, no problem. We used to have 20 people over at our apartment for Summer BBQs. Some essentials that I can think of right off the top of my head would be: 

- Make sure people have a place to sit. You don't need the fanciest patio set, folding chairs will do just fine, but when people have a pace to sit, they will usually do just that, they will sit. And now you have the beginning of an outdoor Summer hang. 

- Next up is an outdoor table. This can be as simple as a small card table, TV trays, or a full buffet line of folding tables. Whatever floats your boat. But at the end of the day, you need somewhere to put food and drinks. 

- Always think of the little things that make people want to hang out. I always put music on my little Bluetooth speaker to create the mood I'm going for. Usually, I tend to lean toward a reggae mix or country station when it's hot out, then I change it to a mellow folk playlist when the sun has set and the lights are on. Never underestimate the power of a good playlist. I'm convinced this helps people feel more comfortable and they will stay longer. If they stay too long, put on some opera and they will leave. 

- Having an outdoor grill is strongly recommended by the Paulsens. It doesn't need to be fancy, but it needs to work. That way, if you are hosting, you’re not stuck inside in the kitchen 90% of the time. People usually want to hang where the food is being prepared, so why not do that right outside where everyone already is? Plus, who doesn't love the smell of summer grilling? 

- Lastly, I would say you'll want some form of entertainment - be it ladder ball, spike ball, croquet, corn hole, darts, or anything really that will keep people entertained. Not everyone will be chomping at the bit to get a completive game of corn hole in, but if it's there, people will usually take advantage of it sometime during the evening.

Let's say you get a spontaneous knock on the door and some friends are stopping by to say hello around dinner time. How do you make a simple Summer night celebration with what you've already got in the house?

This actually happened to us a couple weeks ago. I feel like I live for moments like these. (But I know a lot of you might not, and the thought of something like this actually terrifies you. That's ok.) Hopefully, what I am about to say will ease the anxiety for you when an unexpected visitor shows up. 

I will be the first to admit that sometimes our house gets out of control and the place is a disaster (we have 3 boys under 6), so if you feel absolutely uncomfortable with hosting a spontaneous BBQ, then that is fine. But we get compliments all the time about how comfortable our home is because it isn't perfect. So if you need to do a quick 5-minute clean-up and shove toys and books and (sorry, I have to say it) laundry into a closet, then do it! Challenge yourself to be a spontaneous host. You might just create the best memories of the year.

But to be able to successfully do this whole spontaneous guest thing, you will need to be prepared in advance. Making sure that you have the proper supplies to be able to whip up a halfway decent Summer cookout on the spur of the moment is key. Here’s the secret to staying stress free - keep in mind, when people drop by and you invite them to stay, they really don't have high expectations of a world -class meal. It is more important to be relational than stress about the mess or worry about creating the best burger possible. I'll have Hil add a list down below of things I shop for in advance and then perishables I pull out of the fridge the day of to help inspire you on your road to spontaneity. 

And please hear me when I say that it took us years to get here. So go slow. Start making a list of things you’d like to buy or any outdoor projects you want to work on. Don't worry about doing everything today. Just slowly add to your space as you can. And don't wait to be finished before you have guests. Some of my best ideas have come from chatting to friends about my plans for the backyard. You might just glean some advice or free help from them too.

Basically, I think I just want to encourage you to give it a shot. A lot of people don't know how to host because they haven't done it much. But, as with everything, the more you do it, the more natural it becomes. So this weekend, invite some close friends over. They won't judge you when you mess up or forget the buns. 

Love all of this. And yes, I’ve added your Summer Spontaneity Pre-Game List below. Anything on your dream list of things you'd like to add to our space?

Oh, there is always more. For me personally, I'd love a hot tub. Haha. But seriously, we have worked pretty hard to get our space to a place that feels really welcoming and relaxing when you are out there. I can always think of little things here and there that would be extra. But we have the grills, the picnic table, the fire pit, the outdoor heater, the Adirondack chairs, the lights. In fact, why don't we invite people over sometime soon so we can enjoy it some more?

Come on, hot tub! Everybody with me. HOT TUB! HOT TUB! HOT TUB! Any last words for the Revels before we text some friends and fire up the grill?

Remember that ice cream maker in the corner at my grandma's house? The memory of that ice cream maker stuck with me and helped me see the value of family and friends gathering outside in the Summer. Who knows, that could be your house with your family and friends and the ice cream maker whirring in the background. It doesn't take much. In fact, something tells me you already have everything you need to make a memory. Go! Have yourself a great Summer outside!

Wanna learn more about Craig?

You can follow him on Instagram or check out his amazing photography at www.craigpaulsenphoto.com.